


A New Start

by Fablivious



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Hes trying his best, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Polygons, Made before Future, Multi, Self-Indulgent, Some angst, Steven being kind of like Pink, Unintentionally, fluff????, just pining, space rocks being gay for each other, thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26772307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fablivious/pseuds/Fablivious
Summary: Spinel < PearlBismuth < PearlThat's it(I made this a year ago and decided to post it for whatever reason.)
Relationships: Bismuth & Pearl (Steven Universe), Lapis/Bimsuth, Lapis/Bismuth (implied), Lapis/Peridot, Pearl & Spinel (Steven Universe), Pearl/Bismuth, Pearl/Spinel (Steven Universe), Spinel & Steven, Spinel/Pearl, Steven/Connie, Steven/Connie (mentioned), lapis/peridot (implied)
Kudos: 13





	A New Start

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the self-indulgent fic I wrote a year ago. I would like to hear your thoughts.

2701 seconds. That’s how much time has passed. And still, she was counting. 2705 seconds she stood waiting in their living room. 2709 seconds passed and she still felt like the scum of the Earth. 2712 seconds, she still felt like an intruder in their home. 

  
The silence was slowly killing her inside. 

“Stay here...” 

She didn’t want to. But she did anyway. And now she was fidgeting with her fingers, tapping her foot lightly, wishing for Steven to hurry up. She was waiting for Steven, not Pink. 

“I just...have to go somewhere really quick. Don’t move...” 

She obeyed. Why wouldn’t she? Such a perfect person. He wouldn’t be capable of making someone feel bad. But if that was the case, why did she feel horrible still? She was fixed, wasn’t she? He fixed her. She was better now. But she didn’t feel better. 

“Spinel...I don’t have time for—look...just...stand here until I get back...” 

2735 seconds. What was taking him? The door opened. She looked. And a pair of blue eyes stared right back at her. 

“Spinel? What are you doing here?” Pink’s former Pearl asked. She was no longer in her pretty default dress. But now she was dressed up in blue, with pink flats. Pink... 

“I’m waiting,” she responded. 

“For whom?” Pink’s Pearl sure did ask a lot of questions. On Homeworld, curiosity like this would get her shattered. As it should be. Spinel reprimanded herself mentally for having such thoughts. Why was she still living in the past? Why couldn’t she move on? 

“Steven.” She stated simply. The Pearl looked confused. 

“Steven is with Connie on a date. They won’t be back until evening.” The Pearl said. Steven was on a date? With that human girl that was on the pink creature. 

“It’ll only take like 5 minutes...Just stay here...” 

“But Steven told me he’d come back in 5 minutes...” 2752 seconds passed. 

  
“Huh...how long have you been waiting here?” 

“2754 seconds.” She responded, almost too quickly. 

“Spinel...that isn’t 5 minutes.” 

“I know. He said he’d be back...I... trust him.” 

“Well, he will be back, but not now. You don’t have to wait here. You can go anywhere else you’d like while waiting.” 

“He told me to stay here.” 

“So, you are going to stay here?” 

“Yes...” 

“2754 seconds! That’s--” 

“2760 seconds.” She corrected. 

“Well ok, but that’s over 40 minutes. You’ve been waiting here that long?” 

  
“Yes.” 

“And you’re not bored?” 

“Of course not, she promised me she’d be back!” 

“...She...?” 

“No! I meant he! Steven! Steven promised he’d be back. He told me to wait here. He told me to not move. I can’t let him down...” 

2765 or 2767? She lost count. She’d have to start over. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 seconds passed. 

Pearl looked concerned. She walked over to Spinel and gently placed her hands on her shoulders. Spinel looked up at her. 

10, 11, 12, 13 seconds passed. 

“Spinel... sit down for a second.” 

“How many seconds?” 

“I--just sit down with me for a moment.” She sat down. 

17, 18, 19, 20, 21 seconds passed. 

“Spinel? Do you miss Pink?” The name struck her hard. 

25 or 23? She lost count. She’d have to start over. 

“Pink? Pink diamond?” Pearl nodded. 

She looked up at the ceiling. And for a few seconds, there was nothing but black and the thousands of stars in the sky. Millions of them. Always changing. The billions of stars she counted and named and wished on. And the only wish she wanted to come true was for Pink to come back. 

  
She isn’t coming back. 

“Spinel?” That brought her back to reality. She wasn’t in the garden anymore. “Something is bothering you. Don’t you want to talk about it?” 

“No, I’m fine. Nothing is bothering me. I’m better now.” 

“Spinel...something is bothering you. I know because I used to think the same thing you did. You’ll feel better when you talk about your feelings.” 

“But I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong with me!” 

“That isn’t what I meant...there's something eating you up inside. I can see the pain in your eyes. You’re hiding something. Something that you’ve been worrying over.” 

“Steven isn’t back.” 

“He won’t be back for a while.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Because he told me.”

“How come he told you and not me?” 

“I don’t know...” 

“Just like she took you but left me!” Pearl's head snapped to look at Spinel. Spinel wasn’t looking at her. She was looking at her boots and shuffling them quietly. A frown was visible on her face. Pearl sighed. Of course, this was the source of her problems. 

“Spinel--” 

“NO! Stop talking!” Spinel placed her hand on Pearl’s mouth. This surprised Pearl, but she also got annoyed. She grabbed Spinel’s wrist and yanked it down. Pearl opened her mouth, but Spinel put her other hand on her mouth. Pearl grabbed that one as well. Now they were both facing each other. Pearl had a serious face and Spinel just looked angry. Pearl had both of Spinel’s wrists and held them tightly. 

“Spinel. It’s clear that this is what’s bothering you. I won’t let you go until you talk to me about it.” 

“No. I’m supposed to be waiting for Steven.”   
  


“You already are.” 

“Steven told me to--” 

“Why do you care so much about him? He isn’t Pink!” Pearl stated sternly. Spinel frowned. 

“...I know.” 

“Then why do you treat him as such. He’s Steven. Not Pink. Steven has been working hard. He doesn’t need to deal with your problems right now. Stop putting your problems on him. He can’t fix everything for you.” 

  
“I know!” Spinel was crying now. Pearl’s face faltered a little, but her grip only got tighter. She hadn’t meant to make her cry. Spinel whimpered. 

  
Start over. She’d have to start over. She wished she could start over... 

1...2...3....4...5... 

Why was she counting again? To wait for someone who wasn’t coming back. To wait for someone who didn’t care. What was the point of counting? The numbers weren’t going to end... 

“I just--” She didn’t finish her sentence, but she continued sobbing. Pearl watched. The same stern expression never left her features. “Wanted her to come back. I wanted to believe she still cared about me. I just wish I was enough for her.” Pearl’s eyes softened. 

“You don’t need to be enough for her. You don’t need to be enough for anyone. You have to be enough for you.” 

“Well, I don’t feel that way. You...you’re independent. You don’t need anyone to make you happy. But I don’t know if I can ever make myself happy. I don’t know when I can ever feel satisfied with just being me. Because I’m not...” 

“That takes time. I used to think the same way as you. And even though it seems that I’m all better now. I’m not. I still have a lot to learn. But I do feel like I’m getting better every day. I want you to feel that security. Of knowing you can do something for yourself. Not for others.” Spinel sniffled. She looked shyly up at Pearl. 

“But...I don’t even know how to do that or where to even begin...” Pearl smiled softly. 

“That’s alright. How about we do something else instead of standing still and waiting.” Spinel nodded. Pearl let go of her wrist and took her hands. 

  
Pearl took her to Funland. Funland wasn’t Pearl’s favorite place, but she was willing to go so she could cheer up Spinel. 

“What’s that ride?” Spinel pointed to a ride. 

“That’s the rollercoaster.” 

“Could we go on that one?” Spinel had stars in her eyes. Her excitement was clearly shown. Pearl was hesitant. 

“Uh...how about we go on another one instead.” Spinel was disappointed. 

  
“Ok....” Spinel sighed. Pearl huffed. She realized after four rides that Spinel had the tendency of looking like a kicked puppy when she wasn’t allowed something. 

“Oh alright!” Spinel’s back straightened and she grinned. She cheered and Pearl wondered why she kept falling for the same trick each time. Spinel grabbed her arm and dragged her to the ride. She bounced up and down. Pearl sighed. A teenager who was working there checked their heights. 

  
“Well, you’re both good. If you were any shorter you wouldn’t be able to ride.” The teen laughed. The comment was directed to Spinel, but she was too busy being excited to care. 

The whole ride, Pearl clung to Spinel. 

“That was fun! Let’s go again!” Spinel whooped. Pearl shook her head. 

“NO! No more!” Pearl grunted. Her hair was disheveled. Spinel whined. Pearl sighed as she grabbed her hand. “How about we go on another ride?” Spinel nodded. 

They went on other rides. 

“That was fun, but my favorite is the rollercoaster.” Spinel stated. Pearl sighed defeated. From the last five rides, Spinel kept mentioning the rollercoaster. 

“Look we’ll go, but not now. I’ll show you the arcade.” 

“What’s an arcade?” 

“Hm...” Pearl tried to look for the best way to explain it to her. “It’s like a station that has more games inside.” Spinel oohed. On their way to the arcade, they saw something fly in the sky. It landed in front of them. 

  
“Hey,” it was a Lapis, holding a Peridot. Peridot snickered. She whispered something in the Lapis' ear. The Lapis snorted.

“Lapis...Peridot.” Pearl greeted them with a nod. Spinel felt embarrassed and hid half of herself behind Pearl. 

“Pearl.” Peridot grinned. “And oh...Spinel.” Peridot emphasized her name more. Spinel felt her cheeks flush. “You don’t look so dangerous when you’re like this.” Spinel looked away.

“Cut it out, Peridot. We’re just going to the arcade.” Peridot tried to hide her snicker. Lapis was already doing a bad job of keeping herself from laughing. 

“On...a date?” After Peridot whispered those words, the duo busted out laughing. 

“Who’s on a date?” A voice came up behind them. A bismuth. Bismuth shook her head at the gems who were rolling on the floor with laughter. 

“Pearl, how’re you doing?” She grinned at her. 

“I’m fine, Bismuth.” Pearl smiled up at her. Spinel looked up. 

“Who’s your little friend?” Pearl stepped aside so that she was longer Spinel’s shield. Bismuth ruffled the pink gem’s hair. “Nice to have you back.” Spinel frowned momentarily. She didn’t think it was nice she was here. She thought these gems would be mad at her or even hate her. But here they were, joking around casually as if they were all friends who were catching up. Bismuth looked at the two laughing gems.

“Alright you two, cough it up.” 

“Isn’t that a human thing?” Spinel whispered to Pearl. Pearl chuckled. 

“Cough, cough?” She faked a cough onto her arm. 

“It’s a metaphor,” Pearl said to her. Spinel nodded and pretended she understood. Lapis giggled and stood up. 

“We’re sorry, Bismuth.” Lapis stifled a giggle and handed her, what looked like promise rings. They had beautiful designs and one of them was blue. They had tiny hearts and names engraved on them. Bismuth took them and put them in her gem. 

“What are those?” Spinel asked. Bismuth stiffened. 

“What are what?” Bismuth tried to act casual. 

“Those small circle thingies you put in your gem.” 

“Those ‘small circle thingies’ are called rings,” Pearl explained. Spinel oohed. 

“It’s a human thing?” 

“Yes, it’s a human thing.” Pearl chuckled. Bismuth did too. 

“You know...it could also be a gem thing.” 

“I guess, humans, wear them on their finger--” 

“More like touch stumps.” Lapis interrupted while smirking at Peridot. Peridot feigned annoyance. 

“...It’s used as a form of tradition. Like Garnet. Ruby and Sapphire got married so she wears them all the time. It can be used as a reminder or symbol of love or friendship.” Pearl continued to explain. Spinel smiled. 

“That’s why she wears them!” Spinel grinned. Pearl nodded. 

“Yeah, rings are usually worn to represent love. Like romance, infatuation...you know.” Bismuth said while grinning. Pearl nodded. Bismuth shuffled quietly. Mostly wondering why Pearl hadn’t asked who the rings she made were for and why Pearl seemed clueless to all her hints. 

“Soooo...why do you have ‘em?” Spinel asked. 

“Err--” Bismuth didn’t expect for Spinel to be the one asking. Before she could come up with an excuse, Pearl had answered for her. 

“Probably for another couple of humans and gems. Bismuth is very generous.” Pearl told her. Spinel smiled. Bismuth’s smile faltered. 

“Heh...yeah.” Bismuth said quietly. “OH! No one’s answered me yet. Who’s on a date?” Bismuth grinned, not because she was excited to hear the beef, but because she found a good excuse to change the subject. 

“Pearl and Spinel.” Bismuth almost choked. 

“W-what?” Lapis giggled. Pearl glared at her. And Spinel kept the same clueless smile on her face. Peridot was in the corner laughing so hard, she could poof any second now. 

“What’s a date?” Spinel asked to no one in particular. 

“A date is when...two people hang out with...ea-each other,” Peridot said in between giggles. Spinel seemed satisfied with this answer. 

“Oh...then I guess we are on a date!” Spinel exclaimed. Pearl’s face flushed. 

“Spinel, no. We’re not on a date.” Pearl stated. Spinel gave her puppy dog eyes. 

“We’re...not?” Spinel asked sadly. Pearl looked away. She wasn’t about to give in to Spinel’s kicked puppy expression. 

“We’re not...because a date is mostly referred to a couple. Like Garnet. Like Steven and Connie. We’re just ‘hanging out’ but we’re not on a date. What we’re doing isn’t a date.” Spinel’s smiled returned after the explanation. 

“Ok!” Spinel grinned. Pearl let out a sigh. Lapis blew a raspberry. 

“Yeah right! Why are you two holding hands?” Lapis pointed at their intertwined fingers. Pearl opened her mouth. 

“Friends can hold hands?” Spinel said, not entirely sure. It was never asked on Homeworld when Pink was alive. Best friends could hold hands. Pearl smiled, relieved. “We are friends...right?” 

“Of course,” Pearl chuckled. 

“Well, alright...but just so you know, you two look like you’re on a date,” Lapis said, crossing her arms.

“Are you on a date with Peridot?” Spinel asked innocently. Lapis’ face flushed. Peridot giggled. They looked at each other for a moment. “Can we go to the arcade now?” Spinel tugged at Pearl’s hand. 

“Alright, let’s go.” 

They went to the arcade. Spinel was oddly good at the games there, but then again, she was made for games. She traded in her tickets for a necklace. It had a purple crystal on it. Pearl explained that it wasn’t a real gem after Spinel started freaking out that there was someone trapped inside. Pearl helped her tie the amulet around her neck. When they came out of the arcade, it was already evening. 

“The sky is a different color.” Spinel observed. 

“Yes, Earth changes a lot, when it is time for most humans to sleep. The sky gets darker. And the stars come out. You can even see Homeworld from here.” Spinel smiled awkwardly. Pearl took her hand and they headed up the hill with the lighthouse. Spinel remembered this place well. The ground was still healing from her injector. She willed herself to ignore it. 

The shame was bubbling inside of her still. 

10, 9, 8.... 

“Why? Why are we here?” Spinel asked in a monotone voice. Pearl, oblivious to her pain, explained. 

“I wanted to show you the stars, they look better up here.” Pearl patted a spot in the grass. “Come here.” Spinel slowly made her way over. They sat together, looking at the stars for what seemed like hours. 

7, 6, 5.... 

“Heh,” Spinel pulled out a little plush purple lilac keychain that Pearl had won for her at the rigged ring toss. She chuckled softly and hugged it close. “Ya know....” She kept the plushie close. 

4, 3, 2...

1..

“I was planning on shattering myself...”   
. 

  
. 

  
. 

  
“W-W-WHAT!?” Pearl exclaimed, falling backward. She got up and stared at Spinel with wide eyes. Spinel didn’t respond, just kept staring at her plushie flower. 

“I came here to thank Steven, for trying to help me. But I didn’t get to. He left.” Pearl seemed thoughtful. “I was thinking for a while.” 

“Do you still...?” 

“Yes. I was thinking that without Pink, I had no purpose. I had nothing left to exist for. What was the point? I was nothing without her. But now... I feel a little different about it.” Pearl was silent. Spinel took Pearl’s hands and intertwined them with hers. “I want to thank you. For making me rethink this. I don’t think I want to leave yet. Not when I haven’t seen anything yet.” 

“I... your welcome.” Pearl was stunned. She let go of Spinel’s hands and wrapped her arms around her. Spinel accepted the hug. They looked up at the stars while they embraced each other. 

Maybe this could be a new start. 


End file.
